LET US PLAY!!

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/235384-a-message-from-us-soccer-to-the-world-let-us-in?just_published=1

Sorry Cleveland, But This One is OVER

LeBron, maybe it's time to relocate... Click Here

2009 New York Giants: What to Expect?

Fifteen months ago, all the questions had been answered.

The New York Giants had beaten the greatest team ever assembled, the New England Patriots, in Super Bowl XLII to cap what had turned into a Cinderella story and magical season for Big Blue. Eli Manning-to-Plaxico Burress had become one of the most lethal passing combinations in all the NFL. The defense, led by Steve Spagnuolo, had gone from giving up 80 points in the two first games to shutting down the most explosive offense in the NFL, holding them to just 14 points.

Now, entering the 2009 season, the Giants have a lot more questions to answer than they did last February. After an 11-1 start to the 2008 campaign- and making it look less and less like their championship the previous year was more of a fluke than anything else- the Giants finished the season 1-3 and were knocked out of the playoffs by the Philadelphia Eagles in second round. Many of the Giants problems in the last six weeks of the season can be attributed to the absence of Burress, who was suspended indefinitely (and eventually released) after being arrested on illegal gun charges. And as for Spagnuolo, the architect behind the now catastrophic Giants defense, he has packed his playbook and headed to St. Louis to become the head coach of the Rams.

So with the start of training camp only weeks away, here's a look at the 5 biggest questions the G-Men will be asking themselves this season:

5. How healthy is Osi Umenyiora?

Despite losing both of their starting defensive ends before a single regular season snap in '08, the Giants defense did not miss a beat and continued to be one of the most consistent and reliable units in the NFL. And while one of those DE's is not coming back, the other is.

Giants fans and players alike will have their fingers crossed as Osi gears up for the 2009 season. After tearing a lateral meniscus in his left leg in a preseason game against the Jets last season, Mathias Kiwanuka and Super Bowl hero Justin Tuck instantly became the new 1-2 punch at the ends. If Osi can come back healthy, the Giants will have a whole new bounty if options on defense that they did not previously have. Kiwanuka has been the subject of many trade rumors this summer for the Giants, and despite his excellent play during parts of 2008, he has become an expendable part of the defense. Of course, they could simply continue to play him at OLB like he did in his first year with the Giants, but Kiwanuka's natural position is on the end of the D-Line. Regardless, everything mentioned all relies on Umenyiora and the strength of his leg.

4. Can Brandon Jacobs stay healthy enough to lead the league in rushing?

Skill wise, Jacobs has the ability. Just ask LaRon Landry. However, durability is the issue with this big bruising back. Jacobs averaged almost 5.0 yards per carry in 2008, but it came on only 219 carries. He missed two games in '08 with re- occurring knew problems, yet still racked up 15 touchdowns on the ground.

This year, Jacobs will be asked to shoulder more of the load than, perhaps, ever before. With the departure of another 1,000 yard rusher, Derrick Ward, Jacobs may be in line for upwards of 300 carries this season. There is no questioning Jacobs' physical and mental toughness. Still, with an offense with plenty of question marks at the skill positions, Brandon will easily find himself as Option #1 on the Giants offensive side of the ball. He made a promise to lead the league in rushing before the '08 season. And while his ypc suggest he could still accomplish this feat, his knees and shoulders will be the deciding factor.

3. Will the signings of Michael Boley, Rocky Bernard and Chris Canty pay off?

Hopefully. Boley is two seasons removed from a breakout year with Atlanta which saw him rack up 125 total tackles playing the "Sam" linebacker position for the Falcons. He'll join Antonio Pierce and, presumably, Danny Clark as the starting LBs for the G-Men. Bernard is 30 years old and will probably not be a 3-down player, but his 300+ pounds and still have enough in the tank to be an imposing 4-3 defensive tackle on a very good line. A DT rotation of Bernard, Fred Robbins and Jay Alford can be one of the most productive- and freshest- in the NFC.

The most intriguing of the three signings, however, is Canty. Since his days at Virginia, Giants head coach Tom Coughlin has been all over this guy. At 6'7, 310 lbs., Canty is a blend of height and bulk which you do not see on many defensive lines in the NFL. Giants GM Jerry Reese has said that the $42 million Canty will "play all over the front." If they decide to play him as a 3-4 DT, then the Giants can use more packages to utilize their depth at LB (Zach DeOsi, Chase Blackburn and rookie Clint Sintim will all be looking for playing time this season). In 4-3 formations, Canty could line up at end to give Tuck or Umenyiora a breather in the right situations. Whatever Canty's role ends up being, there is no doubting he will be seeing the field quite a bit in 2009 and beyond.

2. How big of a loss was the loss of Steve Spagnuolo?

Last offseason, Spags spurned the Washington Redskins after being offered their head coaching position. This year, however, the Giants could not keep the most sought after defensive coordinator in the league in East Rutherford. Spagnuolo got the head coaching position he most certainly deserved, but the Giants lost a lynch pin to their recent run of success.

While players play the game and are obviously the most important ingredient to any recipe for success, the loss of a coordinator should not be overlooked. In 2007, the Giants finished 7th in defensive yards per game. In 2008, that ranking increased to 5th. They totaled 95 sacks over those two years, including a league high 53 in 2007. Spagnuolo never had the biggest D-Line to work with, but it seemed like that was his choice, utilizing the agility and finesse of the line to get to the opposing quarterback. His mentor, Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Johnson, has been the architect behind blitz packages for years which have driven opposing teams crazy. Most of the blitz's relied heavily on LBs and DBs disguising their coverage and rushing the line at the last minute. The Giants line bulked up big time this offseason (Bernard, Canty), and there is a good possibility Big Blue will show more 3-4 formations than they ever did under Spagnuolo. It will be interesting to see what kind of schemes new defensive coordinator Bill Sheridan uses on defense. Whatever he brings to the table, it will take alot of production for Giants fans to forget about Spags.

1. Did the Giants make the right decision with their potential wide receiver merry-go-round?

After the departure of Plaxico in Week 14, the Giants were searching for a #1 wideout. When the Giants lost 4 of the 5 games they played with out Burress, the search became a full blown manhunt. As they begin 2009, the Giants are still holding open auditions for the lead role. The availabilities of Arizona WR Anquan Boldin and Cleveland WR Braylon Edwards were two of the worst kept secrets in the NFL this offseason. Numerous reports suggested Boldin could have been acquired for a 1st and 3rd round pick in the 2009 Draft, while Braylon was rumored to have a price tag of a 2nd and 5th.

The Giants went out and used their 1st round pick on North Carolina wideout Hakeem Nicks. While Nicks has shown flashes of brilliance, the fact is that for one additional pick, they could have had Boldin. If your a Giants fan, odds are you would take Boldin over Hicks and a 3rd round pick for numerous reasons. For one thing, Hicks is only 6'0. As history has shown, Eli likes throwing the ball to big targets. If his #1 wideout is only six feet tall, his numbers will suffer. If anything, fans should be excited about 4th round pick Ramses Barden, a 6'6 freak out of Cal Poly. His physical presence will remind many viewers of guys like Burress and Terrell Owens, assuming his hands can keep up with the rest of his body. With Amani Toomer gone, the Giants will have a rotation of so-so wideouts- Nicks, Barden, Sinorice Moss, Steve Smith, Domenick Hixon, Mario Manningham, Derek Hagan- who will all be looking to prove themselves as Eli's new favorite target.

The numbers without Plaxico don't lie. Jerry Reese will take a lot of heat in the media if Hicks does not immediately step up, or if the Giants' passing games stumbles like it did at the end of 2008. Yes, the Giants are a run first team behind that trecherous offensive line, but no team can win at a high level with sucha one dimensional offense. Not to mention, the wear-and-tear on a team which is forced to run the ball 30-40 times a game will eventually catch up with you. If the offense falters, New York will be wishing they had landed one of the two high profile WR's previously mentioned.

Fearless Forecast:

W-L (division): 11-5 (4-2)

Playoffs?: Yes

Seed?: #2 (NFC East champions, Minnesota with the #1 seed in the NFC)

Super Bowl Champions?: Sorry, but I don't think this offense can win it all.

Brandon Jacobs: 285 carries, 1,450 yds, 15 TDs

Eli Manning: 3,300 yds, 24 TDs, 18 INTs

Hakeem Nicks: 45 catches, 750 yds, 4 TDs

Defensive MVP: Corey Webster

Offensive MVP: Jacobs

When the Dream Just Isn't Enough...

This one is a little too long to put on the blog, so check it out on Bleacherreport.com

Click here.

The Team You SHOULD Be Rooting For

With 4 teams left in the NHL Playoffs, the team you are predicting to win it all probably isn't the team you should be picking. At least not if you want the league to thrive from the upcoming Stanley Cup Finals.

Confused? I'll explain.

The Pittsburgh Penguins will take on the Carolina Hurricanes in the Eastern Conference Finals. The days of teetering on the verge of bankruptcy seem like ages ago to Penguins fans with the emergence of guys like Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin and Marc Andre-Fleury. Pittsburgh is once again relevant on the NHL map and, beyond that, are one of the hottest tickets in the NHL with the amount of young talent they put on the ice every night. The Hurricanes won the 2006 Stanley Cup, and have been a contender each year for the past decade or so. They fly under the radar, but put a great team on the ice each season.

In the Western Conference, the Detroit Red Wings are squaring off with the Chicago Blackhawks. Detroit's nickname- HockeyTown- is no hyperbole. The Motor City has had reason to bleed...umm, red... for a long time now. In fact, since legendary coach Scotty Bowman ended his dominant tenure as Wings coach 4 years ago, Mike Babcock has lead the team to 50+ wins in each of the following seasons. There is no shortage of talent or fanbase in Detroit. Unless, of course, you end up at Ford Field and not Joe Louis Arena.

But the one team people seem to be sleeping on is the one team which can cause the biggest stir with a Stanley Cup victory. The Chicago Blackhawks are back in the Western Conference Finals for the first time in 17 years. Seventeen years ago, Jeremy Roenick scored 53 goals for the Hawks, Chris Chelios had just been acquired from the Montreal Canadiens, and Ed Belfour was starting over a budding young star by the name of Dominik Hasek. They have not won a Stanley Cup since 1961, the second longest streak in NHL history (ask a Rangers fan what the longest ever was).

Yet, despite these Chicago Cubs-esque numbers, these Chicago fans also show up to the games. Blackhawks games sell out each and every night, and fans have truly stuck with the franchise through thick and thin. I like to compare these fans to Yankees fans of the Don Mattingly Era, or present day Knicks fans (and to a lesser extent, all Knicks fans). For Yankee fans, that 20 year period of constant mediocrity was a far cry from the excellence the Yankees seemed to be the definition of for the prior 50 years. Yes, attendance took a hit in the Bronx, but the fanbase never dwindled.

For the Knicks and their fans, it has been 40 years since Willis Reed, his one leg, and the rest of the New York Knicks took home their last NBA Championship. Along the way, the Knickerbockers have had their share of ups and downs. The ups never reached the summit of excellence- thank you, John "2-19" Starks- and the downs have seemed to be Hades-deep, but Knicks tickets at the Garden remain one of the hottest tickets in all of sports. And that trend even survived the Isiah Thomas Era, proving that it can survive pretty much anything short of a worldwide apocalypto.

But there is no denying one thing these two situations had in common. When baseball was good in the Bronx, and when the Knicks were runnin' and gunnin' with the likes of Ewing, Oakley, and Mason, the MLB and NBA were thriving, respectively. Leagues feed off of their big market teams, but the markets vary from sport to sport.

For hockey, Chicago is a market which they need to keep interested. It's obvious that the fans have stuck with the Hawks through this past quest for success, but imagine what a Stanley Cup victory could do. It's not like Chicago is on a Cinderella run, they do have a bunch of good young players on their team- Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toewes in particular. The team, if it can stay together, should be a contender for years to come. It is a story which seems eerily similar to the Penguins from the past year or two, just without all the hoopla since the Hawks don't have a superstar with Sidney Crosby level hype. But this is a situation which the NHL could really feed off of if the Blackhawks can find a way to win the whole thing.

Go Hawks.

A Game 7 for the Ages

Game 7s in sports are like nothing else.  For 9 innings, 4 quarters or 3 periods, every integral move by every single person on the roster is digested, evaluated, and stored in the memory bank in case a hero/scapegoat is needed when the final buzzer sounds.  In my eyes, every Game 7 in the four major sports should be broadcast on national television, so that all sports fans have a chance to witness two teams who are guaranteed to be, as the saying goes, "giving it their all."

Think about it.  In anywhere from a week to two weeks time, six games will be have been played between the same two teams on the same two venues.  Six games could not determine who was the best between the two.  When one team was down 3 games to 2, they did what had to be done to ensure that everything they had done the past ten months did not go to waste in one game.  To us, that's cliche.

To these guys, that's ten months of suicides, weight training, full contact practices, coaches chewing them out, digesting plays, missing your family (and your own bed)... it's ten months of your life wasted.  In the blink of an eye.  Or better yet, the buzzing of a horn.

Which is why it pains me to say that the best Game 7 of the 2009 playoffs to this date- and pending a Kobe-LeBron game 7 in the NBA Finals, the best Game 7 of the entire 2009 professional playoffs- will be viewed by only a select audience of the sports world.  

When Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby square off tomorrow in Washington for Game 7 of the NHL Eastern Conference Semifinals, we will have the two best NHL hockey players of this generation, who play with more fire and competitiveness than the majority of the league, scratching and clawing for every inch they can get in what is the definition of a "must-win-game."  

The rivalry between the two playmakers heated up in Washington about three months ago during a  Capitals 5-2 win.  The trash talking has carried through into the playoffs and has clearly brought out the best in both players.  

In Game 2 of the series, Washington won 4-3. 

Seven goals were scored in the game.

Crosby had 3.

Ovechkin had 3.

Clearly, the two superstars have not disappointed.  In 13 playoff games, Ovechkin has recorded 20 points, while Sid the Kid has 17 points in 12 games.  In the six games between the two in the playoffs up to this point, they have netted a combined 13 goals.   These two are like Tiger and Phil, or Kobe and LeBron, or even Federer and Nadal.  Alone, they are already Must-See-TV.

Together?  You better have TiVo.

More importantly, you better have a good cable provider.  The game will be seen on the all-so-well-known Versus Network.  To me, that's Channel 408 (or 719 for the HD feed).  It's not NBC, or CBS, or even ESPN...2.

However, given Versus' ever so envied monopoly over the NHL and its games (before I continue, that last comment was doused with sarcasm), it has focused on its broadcasters and commentators for such events.  Doc Emerick, who should be doing Game 7, is the Michael Buffer of NHL play-by-play.  The guy's voice is so enigmatic and, more importantly, he knows the game of hockey like Bill Cosby knows pudding.  For those who love to hear a good game of hockey called- and played- Versus is the place for you.

So I urge you, please, if you have it within your means to watch Game 7 tomorrow night- that means being a sports fan, having nothing to do after 7pm tomorrow night, and having access to the Versus Network- please do yourself a favor and turn it on.  This matchup should not be undersold simply because its hockey and no one watches it in the Unites States.  Ovechkin and Crosby are just as dominant as any other two athletes in pro sports (I'll argue Ovechkin is the most dominant athlete in sports, but that's for another day).  And don't forget about the other 48 guys playing, too.  These two teams bring a lot of talent to an NHL rink and, as you may have guessed, are two of the most exciting teams to watch in all of hockey.  So kick back and forget about Brett Favre storylines every time you turn on ESPN, or the Cavs and LeBron beating every one by 20, or Albert Pujols hitting home runs every twenty minutes.  

Because this is not your everyday hockey game.

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Been...

Lakers-Cavs

With LeBron James tearing up the league, Kevin Garnett showing his first real signs of aging, and a Western Conference with one King and seven princes, the matchup in this year's 2009 NBA Finals is already a foregone conclusion to most fans. In fact, before KG's injury, one betting website offered this promotion:

Bet on any team except the Lakers to win the Championship (up to $50) and, if the Lakers win, we will fully reimburse your bet.

The logic? Simple. If you weren't betting on the Lakers, you were betting on one of two teams—Boston or Cleveland. So let's say the wagering goes pretty much 50-50 on those two teams; half the population pick the Cavs, the other the Celtics.

If either one of those teams wins the Finals, the site breaks about even by collecting the losing half and paying it out to the winning half. If the Lakers win, it is as if nothing happened.
The promotion ran until Apr. 17. The news that KG was done for the year hit the wire on Apr. 16. Now just picture the chaos for that particular Web site...

Getting back to my point, this year's power struggle in the Association has been a contest between the three aforementioned teams. But one team, which has not even made the playoffs in almost a decade, could have been a formidable contender in what is now a one-team race in the East:

The New York Knicks.

Knicks fans, let us all now take a moment to lament what has become of the organization. Sure, we have seen some big names like Latrell Sprewell, Allan Houston (H20 is still one of my all-time favorite basketball nicknames), Steve Francis...ummm, Antonio McDyess...uhhh...Keith...Van...Horn? Jerome...(sigh)...Jerome James?!

OK, well we have at least seen our fair share of legendary coaches. Lenny Wilkins, Larry Brown, Don Nelson, hell even Jeff VanGundy was a pretty damn good NBA coach (and apparently never fell off a rope in his life, just ask Alonzo Mourning). But no question the runs each of these men had was less than legendary.

So we've pinned players and coaches so far. But the two men Knicks fans will forever point the finger to for this span of not-even-mediocrity watched it all happen in Armani suits and Gucci boots. Scott Layden and Isiah Thomas.

You want to know what got me thinking for this article? I was pondering the legitimacy of Denver's No. 2 seed in the West. I thought to myself, "Portland has the best size to match up with Bynum and Gasol, and they are playing great basketball right now."

Then I said, "Nene had an amazing season defensively for Denver, but he may not be enough. Birdman (Chris Anderson) gets his fair share of blocks and rebounds, but he's no Marcus Camby. If those two were still together, that would really give them a shot...wait a minute..."

That's right Knicks fans. Seventh overall pick, 2002 NBA Draft. Marcus Camby. Nene. Antonio McDyess. "Fire Layden!" Is this all ringing a bell?

Not only had Knicks fans not gotten the player they wanted (Caron Butler, a native New Yorker, was still on the board and was much more well-known than Nene), they had drafted Nene and instantly traded him along with Marcus Camby to Denver for the brittle Antonio McDyess.
The same McDyess who had played in only 10 games the previous season.

Was that not enough of a red flag? And was it worth it to trade two defensive big men for one smaller, older, and more injury-prone one just to sell a couple more jerseys? Ask Knicks fans that question now...

What did the Knicks do when he blew out his knee in the preseason? They traded him for Stephon Marbury, starting another saga in New York. But here is something many Knicks fans have forgotten about that trade.

Two first-round picks were given up, the first of which was traded to the Celtics who picked Rajon Rondo. In case you haven't noticed, Rondo is a beast, and a point guard is exactly what the Knicks need right now. So chalk that one up for Team Laymas.

The other pick, however, will not come into play unless the Knicks do not make the playoffs next year. Included in the Marbury deal was a lottery-protected first-round pick. The Suns eventually traded the pick to the Utah Jazz (essentially for Tom Gugliotta).

Next year, however, the pick is unprotected, so if the Knicks fail to reach the playoffs they will be handing over a lottery pick to Utah. Yet another slam dunk for the dynamic duo.

I forgot about the idea to write this article until later that day. I turned on the Lakers-Jazz game, expecting to see an exhibition being put on by Kobe Bryant.

There was indeed a show taking place, but Kobe was not the host. You know who it was? Take a second...Trevor Ariza. That's right, the same Trevor Ariza who rode the bench in New York while the Knicks lost seemingly every night. The same Trevor Ariza who was shipped to Orlando for another salary cap mortality, Steve Francis.

You know, "Stevie Franchise." The guy who never lived up to the hype around a guy with that nickname, a guy who demanded he be traded while walking up to put on his Vancouver Grizzlies hat on Draft Day.

That guy.

I'll give Isiah credit, he did—and probably still does—have an eye for talent. He has drafted some good players—David Lee, Nate Robinson, Renaldo Balkman (he is a good player, regardless of what you say), Ariza—but he has never understood the concept of a team.

He has never understood the philosophy of building team from the ground up and not just capsizing it with overpaid "me-first" players. Which is why the Eddy Curry trade is his masterpiece, his symphony.

Knicks get: Eddy Curry and Antonio Davis.
Bulls get: Knicks' 2006 First Rounder, Knicks' 2007 and 2009 Second Rounders, Tim Thomas, Mike Sweetney, and the right to swap 2007's first round pick with the Knicks.

Translated into present day, the Bulls package is Tim Thomas, Sweetney, Tyrus Thomas, Joakim Noah, and this year's second rounder (the second round pick in 2007 was traded numerous times before it ended up being Demetris Nichols, who was actually shipped back to the Knicks on a draft day trade).

Now, had the Knicks still had Nene and Camby, odds are they would not have drafted Thomas and Noah. However, the 2006 pick was No. 2 overall, and the 2007 pick was No. 9 overall.
In the situation they were in at the time, the Knicks could have picked, say, Brandon Roy and Rodney Stuckey?

Sticking that route and taking Wilson Chandler in the same spot in 2007 would give you a starting five of:

Rajon Rondo, Brandon Roy, Chandler, Nene, and Camby.

Throw Stuckey, David Lee, and Nate Robinson on the bench—oh and don't forget Ariza—and this is an nine-deep team playing with a "win now" mentality. I mean, look at that team.
Listen, I understand this is strictly woulda-coulda-shoulda material, but its feasible, and sad at the same time. For now, Knicks fans just have one time on their minds.

2010.

My Athlete of the Year

25 Perfect Games
46 No Hitters
Career Stats: 93-2, 0.006 ERA (yes, that's 2 zeroes after the decimal).

She may be the most impressive player in his/her respective sport. Unbelievable.

John Sterling- The Greatest Unintentional Joke in Sports

It's like Forrest Gump used to say: "Stupid is as stupid does, sir."

I'm a huge Yankee fan. I am convinced and will argue with anyone that being a Yankee fan is not only the greatest thing in the world, but also the worst. It is the greatest because you know the Steinbrenner's will do whatever it takes to put the best 25 men in pinstripes year in and year out.

But for that very reason, it is also the worst. The expectations become steeper and steeper each year and, at times, are flat out ridiculous. Just ask Joe Torre.

If it were up to me, Joe would still be in town. But that's an entirely other story. As a Yankee fan for so many years, my expectations of the team have, as the status quo seems to have become, exceeded what they once were. I expect the best from the Yankees, 365 days a year, 24 hours a day.

Which is why on game nights where I have to listen to the Yanks on the radio for one reason or another, flipping the switch to 880AM - WBCS NY kills me. It doesn't kill me because it's AM radio, or because the signal is bad.

It doesn't even bother me that I have to listen to it on the radio. Baseball's glory years were listened to by thousands of fans at home when televisions- and ball players- were royalty.

The elegance of baseball being called on the radio by legendary announcers like Ernie Harwell, Vin Scully, and Harry Kalas is second to none in the broadcasting world of sports.

What bothers me is that I know on the other end of those radio waves, John Sterling is ready to grace me with a bevy of miscalls, elementary analysis, mindless criticism and unnecessary excitement.

To make matters worse, his partner in crime/shame, Suzan Waldman, is a Boston native. Her favorite team? You guessed it...

The so called "Legendary Voice of the Yankees" must have gotten his nickname somewhere else besides around the radio. In my eyes, he is a legend simply for having gone so long without getting fired.

Sterling has a great radio voice, there is no denying back. He's got that perfect James Earl Jones-esque blend of bass and silky smooth vocal cords. However, the brain simply controls the physical movements of the jaw.

It does not have the power to stop someone from saying stupid things. I wish there was a better way to put it, but there isn't.

Here's a prime example. Last season, the Yanks were in Minnesota. Robinson Cano came up to the plate as I sat at a red light in my hometown of Wayne, NJ. The stage was set for a Sterling miscue. And as all great sportscasters do, he delivered:

"It'll be a 1-2 to Robbie, swung on aaaaand slicing foullll...IT"S A HOME RUN!"

All I could do was laugh to myself. I laughed so hard I almost missed Johnny Boy trying to explain his mistake by blaming the ball camouflaging into the Minnesota roof. Yea, OK John. I wasn't even surprised.

In fact, I had more of a sensation of fulfillment and complete satisfaction than anything else.

Listening to a Sterling broadcast without an error is like getting a flat screen but not getting the HD package to go with it. Yea, you're more than happy with the 50" Sony right where the family portrait used to be, but you can't see every mustache hair on Joakim Noah on a regular cable feed.

You could groom Joakim yourself from your living room if this bad boy had high definition. But noooooo.

The only people who probably actually think John does a good job are the thousands of sponsors he pimps nightly on the airwaves. Each pitch has it's own little significance, whether it be the "Road Runner High Speed Internet 17th Pitch" or the "Lowe's Broadcast Booth's 26th Pitch," or maybe the "Hideki Matsui Loves Benihana 42nd Pitch."

Seriously, you have to hear some of the slogans these companies throw out for some air time. But it's because they know a 10 seconds interval of scripted writing is music to the ears of baseball goers who have succumbed to 3 hours on unedited mindless banter from "The Legend."

I'm being rough on John, but it's only because I love him. A Yankee game not being called by John Sterling is not a Yankee game. Flat out. He has not missed a game since 1989, so there is no denying his dedication. His errors and miscues are comedic relief to fans who follow their baseball teams like they follow stocks.

One day they're up, one day they're down, but either way it's all business 24/7. But as ungraceful as Mr. Sterling may be, there is one call which even he can't mess up. It's the call which he has made almost 2,000 times since he became the voice of the Yanks. And it happens to be my favorite call in all of sports.

"Ball game over! Yankees win! THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... YANKEES WINNN!"

Manny Being Manny...

I hate that expression. I really do. But there is no other way to explain what just happened.
Manny Ramirez has been suspended 50 games for testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs. Here are the thoughts which have gone through my head in the four minutes since I heard this:

• Everyone- everyone- does steroids.
• I just paid Manny $14.25 for his services in my fantasy baseball league. I'm really pissed about that.
• The Dodgers have a huge hurdle to climb after a 13-0 start in Los Angeles.
• Let's see how Andre Ethier does without Man-Ram protecting him.
• This is another win for Boston fans, which is just as good as saying it is a loss for Yankee fans.
• I can't stop shaking my head in disapproval. I don't know if I am mad, upset, disappointed, shocked... I just can't tell.
• I can't wait to hear his explanation.

The Billion Dollar Sham

AT 9:13 pm, the Yanks are losing 3-0 to the Tampa Bay Rays.
At the New Yankee Stadium.
In New York.
Again.

In fact, let's look at some of the highlights (and I use that term veryyyy losely) from the first month at the new ballpark:

• At their first ever game at the new park on April 16th, the Yanks and their $161 million dollar man (CC Sabathia) lose to the Cleveland Indians 10-2. Sabathia walked 5 in 5.1 IP, while Cliff Lee got his first W of the year after an abysmal start.
• Only two days later, the Yanks go down 22-4 to the Indians. Saying the Yanks went down is debatable, however, because one could argue they never even showed up. The top of the second inning, which took 37 minutes, yielded a club record 14 runs for the "Injins," who hit 6 home runs on the day.
• The entire 4 game series between Cleveland and New York saw Cleveland hit 20- yes, 20- home runs. The new stadium also set a record for most home runs hit in the first ten games at a new ballpark. Remember the Coors Field debate? They are no longer the barometer of mashing anymore.
  
• There have already been two games rained out at the new park. Last year, only one game was postponed due to rain, and that was the home opener vs. Toronto.
• With ticket prices being completely over-the-top, single game attendance has not hit 50,000 fans once this season. Think about that, that includes the inaugural game at the New Yankee Stadium, a game which no doubt should have been a sell out. In case you were wondering, the capacity of the new park is 52,325, not including "standing room only" tickets.
• Garlic fries cannot be substituted for regular fries in "value" meals. And boy, is the term "value" highlyyyy controversial. (For more on the garlic fry saga, check out my post from two days ago, just scroll down).
• On May 4th and 5th, the Bronx We-Give-Up-Tons-Of-Bombers lost the first two games against the hated Red Sox ever played at the new park. To make matters worse, David Ortiz begins to look like, gulp, David Ortiz.
• And, of course, the Crème de la Crème. On that May 4th night, thousands of fans were denied readmission after stadium employees told thousands of fans that the rain delay at the end of the game would lead to the game being postponed. When the tarp came off two hours later and thousands of fans- who most had eagerly been waiting for the game to start either at a bar across the street or in their cars- were told they could not get back in due to their re-entry policy. Every stadium has the same policy, but given the situation and how it was handled in addition to the awful stadium attendance to begin with, the Yankees embarrassed themselves Monday more than they ever could playing on the field.

This new stadium has been a disaster for the Yankees. But you don't mess with the Bambino. Ask the Red Sox. Mr. Ruth's humble abode was more than adequate for the Yanks. Just look at the legacy which they built there. But when you mess with the Babe- especially his house- , the Babe knocks you back twice as hard. The greed of the Yanks has finally caught up to them.

Get ready for a long 2009, folks.

Enough Already, Brett...

Is this what Minnesota fans have to look forward to this year?

Another spring, another comeback. Oh, tis' the season.

It's May in America. Baseball is in full swing, the NBA Playoffs are picking up steam after the Boston-Chicago series, and the NHL is banking on a big draw from the Ovechkin-Crosby matchup in the second round of the Eastern Conference Playoffs.

But what would an NFL off-season be without some Brett Favre drama? That's like going to the movies and seeing a film with no previews before hand. Sure, you may not actually enjoy the previews, but what good movie has ever been preview-less? They even act as a "buffer zone" for movie goers (like myself) who notoriously show up 10 minutes after the scheduled showtime. We don't worry about getting into our kernel covered seats a little late because the slew of 90 seconds trailers before the movie save our behinds every time. It's like clockwork.

With Brett, he provides die hard football fans the fix they need during what I refer to as the "cold turkey months" each year. From February to Mid-August, America's most loyal fans- NFL fans- shiver, shake and bite their nails in anticipation of their first fantasy draft, preseason game, and new Coors Light ad with those fake press conferences (I still laugh every time). Even if you missed the latest on Michael Vick, the NFL Draft, or TJ Howshamazilli getting dealt to Seattle, the blindest of football fans cannot escape the Favre story lines each spring.

Last season, the Packers seemed more like Homeland Security than an NFL franchise. They did everything in their power to protect the citizens of Green Bay from a purple and gold nuke being dropped directly on Lambeau Field. If Brett wasn't going to be a Packer, there was a 0.0000% shot he would be playing in Minnesota. We all know the falling out Brett had with Green Bay, starting with their lack of pursuance of WR Randy Moss when Oakland was practically giving him away. It got worse when Green Bay all but handed the reigns to Aaron Rodgers after the Pack's loss in the NFC Championship game to the Giants in 2007. And Brett made it no secret that getting into Minnesota, traditionally a house of horrors for him from his time in Green Bay, and playing for the Vikings would be the perfect way to go out.

Brett played his 2008 with the Jets, missed the playoffs and promptly retired. Again. The Jets, however, did something which Green Bay management did not plan for. By releasing Brett after he retired, he became an UFA (unrestricted free agent). All the ransoms and stipulations which had been put on a Brett-to-Minny scenario were thrown out the window. If Brett wants the Vikings and the Vikings want him, then walk them down the aisle and have Ziggy Wilf read the vows. And as far as Viking fans are concerned, bringing in an arch rival quarterback- one who is undoubtedly better than the one you have now- to stick it to a division rival is music to their ears. Or massive Viking horns.

But Brett, please stop with these dragged on storylines. There are some great games being played in the world of sports right now. When I turn on the 11 P.M. Sportscenter, I do not want the first twenty minutes revolving around another possible comeback. You were one hell of a quarterback, arguably the best ever. But don't turn into Emmitt Smith or Jerry Rice, Hank Aaron or Roger Clemens, Patrick Ewing or even- gulp- Michael Jordan. Each one of these mega stars is a first ballot Hall of Famer in their respective sports. But can you name the last team each of these guys played for? And do you dare compare their productivity with those teams than their "staple franchises," the franchises whose jerseys they will be dawning when they get to Canton, Cooperstown, or Springfield?

With Brett, Minnesota would be an instant favorite in the NFC to reach Super Bowl XLIV. The combination of Favre, AP, and Percy Harvin in the backfield would look eerily similar to the Brees-McAllister-Bush combo which brought New Orleans to within minutes of reaching the Super Bowl only a few years ago. And their defense is far better than any eleven defensive players New Orleans has put on the field in recent memory. Brett could be a literal Christmas-in-July for the Vikes.

For the time being, Favre insists he isn't coming back. Still, "the itch" which Brett has to play again, as so many sources have reported, seems more like chicken pox. But it's just not worth it for Brett. He is the Derek Jeter of football. He has a Super Bowl ring, 3 MVPs, and the complete adoration of all things Green Bay. As a matter of fact, he is Green Bay. I can understand wanting to go out on top like Elway did, but John was a Bronco for life. All athletes have second thoughts about retiring, but the great ones can put things in the proper perspective. Just ask Elway, or Tony Gwynn, or Steve Yzerman.

Just don't ask Brett. You'll be waiting for an answer for a looong time.

Breaking News: A-Rod Behind Plummeting Attendance at Stadium

Thanks go out to Selena Roberts, who obtained much of this information while hiding in a pile of money in Alex Rodriguez's private gym.

The New York Yankees, who have shattered attendance records year after year for the past decade, have seen these very numbers plummet in 2009. Early indications suggested that high ticket prices, along with general fan dissatisfaction with the team, were behind these dwindling figures.

However, new evidence suggests that Alex Rodriguez may be the one responsible for all the hoopla.

According to Sports Illustrated's Selena Roberts, Alex Rodriguez became infuriated with the Steinbrenner's in February of 2009. The reason: Garlic Fries.

Garlic fries you say?

For $5, Yankee fans can now indulge in garlic fries, a self-explanatory delicacy which has been a staple at west coast baseball stadiums for years. The problem occurs, however, when fans at the new Yankee Stadium try to pair the fries with another food- chicken tenders, burgers, etc.

The policy of the booth is simple- garlic fries are sold solo. If you want to buy a "combo meal" with one of the many entrees served at the park, you cannot substitute garlic fries in place of the traditional brand. You can order fries with an entree, but they will not be of the garlic variety, despite how much you may beg, plead, or bribe the attendee. While there is no particular reasoning behind this, my theory is that the owners of the garlic fries stand want you to have a clean palate when eating them. Combining anything else with the new treat may not give you the full effect of the overall awesomeness of the fries.

In his first tour of the stadium in February, A-Rod attempted just this.

"I walked up to the stand and politely asked for a small order of garlic fries," Rodriguez said. "While I was waiting, I noticed that they were also offering $15 steak sandwiches. I then revised my order, and asked for a steak sandwich combo meal. The woman attendee told me to choose one or the other and that I could not have both. When I asked why, she simply offered me some buffalo chicken sliders. I promptly reminded her that I have not made contact with a slider since I came to New York."

Rodriguez, however, was not done.

"He had to have those damn garlic fries," said A Rod's girlfriend Madonna, who was at the stadium attempting to adopt anyone under the age of ten who walked out of the bathroom. "When his first plan failed he went into the bathroom, put on some baby oil, kissed the mirror and reminded himself that he was the greatest person in the world. He walked back out to the stand in nothing but leopard boxers and a fake mustache."

According to numerous sources, A-Rod then tried for 4 hours to get the fries. When the attendee working the stand informed A-Rod that her shift was over 2 hours ago, Rodriguez asked her if he had granted her permission to speak. He then took two swings at the worker and missed twice. She then shot him an evil glare, and Rodriguez walked away. Once again, A-Rod went down looking.

Since then, many of Rodriguez's friends have compared his hatred of the new regime to Brett Favre's feelings towards the Green Bay Packers. "He'll do anything to get back at them," one of A-Rod's cousins- who requested to be unnamed- told Sports Illustrated.

Now, new evidence has surfaced indicating that Alex has been tipping off fans about the new crisis. Only two weeks ago, Alex was seen walking out of a PNC Bank with $1 million in single dollar bills. Three days later, a large structure resembling a garlic clove- and made solely out of $1 bills- was lit on fire on East 161st Street in the Bronx. The NYPD had this to say regarding the incident:

"We are aware of the situation, as well as Mr. Rodriguez's current situation with the Yankees, french fries, and garlic in general. All the necessary steps are being taken to see who is behind this. If it is indeed Mr. Rodriguez, the people of the great state of New York must remind themselves that it is a blessing that this occurred in February. The odds of tracking down the culprit and bringing him to justice are much higher. NY citizens know first hand that A-Rod is no where to be found later in the year, especially in October."

A candid interview with one of Alex's personal trainers revealed that he has been "milking" his hip injury for as much time off as humanly possible. He went on to reassure us that "humanly possible" did cover Rodriguez, despite the fact that he seems to believe he is on a higher level than the meager human race.

The reason? Despite not playing for the first month of the season, Rodriguez has made $172,000 per game. Reports indicate that he has been pedaling this money to bribe fans from staying away from the Stadium and, in particular, the Garlic Fries stand.

"His ego is out of control," said Madonna. "Alex always had this weird expression. He always says he 'keeps his ego in his chest and not in his pants, because sports are about playing with heart and not personal satisfaction.' I never knew what that meant until I started dating Alex. His chest is gigantic, probably bigger than mine when I think about it. And there is nothing excessive in those pants, believe me."

Asked when Alex said this, Madonna replied, "Actually, now that I think about it, he didn't actually say it. I think he hired someone to read his mind, write it down, and say it for him. So he... well, he didn't do anything. But he never really does now that I think about it."

One question, however, still remains. Will putting a ridiculously overpriced Rodriguez back in the batter's box put fans back in the ridiculously overpriced seats at Yankee Stadium? For one thing, Alex will no longer be able to protest the delicious fry stand 24/7 as he has been doing now.* Without someone to bad mouth the concessions at the Stadium, people will have no idea about the ordeal A-Rod went through.

Fans complain about performance on the field and prices in the seats surrounding it. The Yankees are underachieving without Rodriguez in the lineup, but that can be credited more to the team having the highest ERA in the league (5.93) than anything else. And as for the seat prices, someone has to pay A-Rod his $172k a game, right? Well, thanks to your donation to the Pay-A-Diva Society in the form of a ticket which costs $500 an out, Mr. Rodriguez will be paid in full. The check will come from the Steinbrenner's, but it may as well come from you. And until the Yanks get rid of A-Rod, nothing will change.

But he still won't get those damned garlic fries. Boo-yah.

*Alex Rodriguez has done no actual protesting. Instead, he took his 7th inning salary from one game to hire fifteen illegal immigrants to protest for him on the streets surrounding the stadium. In Alex's eyes, however, it's all the same.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

"LLLLLLLLLLLLLet's get ready to rumbllllllllllllle!!!!!!"

Check out http://bleacherreport.com/users/92529-John-Kessanis for some of my older writings.